Canadian Trail Running Magazine published a great article to help keep us safe with our early spring trail running training. With 5 weeks to go before my first 5-Peaks trail race of the season, I am feeling very behind on my training.
Safety tips for spring trail running
Changes are happening. Early spring is an exciting time. The warm weather comes with longer and brighter days, but also rapid changes from winter conditions. From avalanche risks to deep snow, sheets of ice, and high flowing streams, the trails are transitioning. Like a prepubescent teenager, you never know what state the trails will be in. Heading into the trails and mountains means being informed and prepared this season. Here are some things to consider during this awkward time of year…..
Apple’s recent FaceTime vulnerability raises an ongoing concern that as a society we suck and blow expecting perfection in an imperfect world while all too willingly jumping with both feet into the technology black hole by adopting of the latest technology, Installing Apps abs programs without hesitation, medical advancements, or latest tech fad.
Where is that line of personal vs corporate due-diligence fall? This raises the question of “Who is or should be accountable / liable, the user, the developer if anyone at all?”
For clarity, I am not a lawyer – like most of my blog articles, I am just a guy looking in from the outside. However, does this necessarily make we wrong?
Apple’s FaceTime under fire.
Apple FaceTime Vulnerability
The latest poster child on the expecting perfection in an imperfect world is technology giant Apple as news breaks of a vulnerability in the group chat functionality of its FaceTime application that allows users to eavesdrop on the people being called, even if they didn’t pick up the call. The simple exploit works with any pair of iOS devices running iOS 12.1 or later. “The bug lets you call anyone with FaceTime, and immediately hear the audio coming from their phone – before the person on the other end has accepted or rejected the incoming call” according to Benjamin Mayo at 9 to 5 Mac who first broke the story and adds “there’s a second part to this which can expose video too…”. However, it begs to ask the question “Should Apple be liable over this or any other security vulnerability?”
Apple Under Attack over FaceTime Bug
A Huston lawyer argues, “Yes”, after filing a lawsuit against Apple over a security vulnerability that let people eavesdrop on iPhones using FaceTime alleging that Apple “failed to exercise reasonable care” and that Apple “knew, or should have known, that its Product would cause unsolicited privacy breaches and eavesdropping.” It alleged Apple did not adequately test its software and that Apple was “aware there was a high probability at least some consumers would suffer harm.” I would argue differently, as to err is human.
Reality Check
We are human! We commonly use Alexander Pope’s proverb, to err is human; to forgive, divine (Essay on Criticism). Yet, we expect perfection? For corporations such as Apple, this comes at a significant liability. However, should it? IOS is estimated to have over 10 million lines of code. Yet we are expecting perfection in 1:10,000,000 – do we expect to win the lottery? Do we expect to have our choice in a girl over a boy 1:2. I admit, the latter is a bit of a stretch in comparison – however, if you include the exponential difference between 1:2 to 1:10,000,000 maybe not. So how can we expect industry to know every outcome of every possibility? Applications drive the world, smart phones, smart cars, industry – looking at the odds of finding an error is a given, and expectation, and should have a parallel level of tolerance.
Software Development Model
One of my favourite quotes is by Donald Rumsfeld, “ we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns—the ones we don’t know we don’t know”. This applies to all aspects of life, including software development.
We know what we know:
We test our code, the structure, the syntax. It works as expected. We develop tests, we try to break the software, find the bugs, find the exploits.
We know what we don’t know:
Humans are also creative and we all bring different perspectives to an issue. This is why, software developers like Apple have open beta and developer programs. They open up their software to professions, tech geeks, to play, to explore, to exploit, to test. Find what the development team may have missed, look at the software, the app, the interface with a different perspective.
We don’t know we don’t know:
What more can we expect from a developer? Shouldn’t the expositing beta model be transparent enough, shouldn’t the existing beta model protect industry from the We don’t know we don’t know?
Going back to the Apple’s recent FaceTime vulnerability. Tens of thousands of users have tested and explored every aspect of FaceTime both as Apple employees and as members of the public beta team. Using the words of Rumsfeld, we didn’t know what we didn’t know. None of these users thought about testing for this vulnerability? Who can or should be blamed for being human?
Where does corporate liability begin?
Should Apple be liable for the FaceTime vulnerability? Let’s look at the facts as they are known.
Apple receives hundreds if not thousands of feature updates and bug notifications on a weekly basis. It takes time to review, test and respond.
Apple disable group calling feature on Apple Devices once the exploit was identified.
Apple had a clear and transparent process for testing the group calling feature before it was incorporated into official update.
Considering the filed lawsuit, did Apple “fail to exercise reasonable care” and that Apple “knew, or should have known, that its Product would cause unsolicited privacy breaches and eavesdropping.”: I would argue, NO. The existing testing and Beta process, presumably adhered to was followed. Simply, as a group of Apple users we did not consider testing that feature. Therefore, how could Apple be “aware there was a high probability at least some consumers would suffer harm.” Again – tens of millions of lines of code. Playing devil’s advocate, it would be easy to consider that “Apple should have recognized” that you could involuntarily connect to a group conversation. However, it appears that neither Apple or more importantly the beta testing public failed to recognize this as a potential issue (We don’t know we don’t know).
Apparently society expects everyone to have a crystal ball.
Do you have diabetes and an IBD such as Crohn’s Disease or Colitis? Me too (read my story here)! I was curious about how systemic the combination of the two diseases was so decided to pull together this survey.
Running a blog can be very intriguing at time – as an example, when I started to write about managing my two invisible illnesses of Crohns’s Disease and insulin dependent diabetes, I never would have imagined the discussion would become one of my most popular pages on the site (read the post here). The two are contradictory in many ways – eat fiber, run as fast as you canfrom fiber. However, the pages popularity makes me wonder how common this combination of two chronic diseases Crohn’s disease and diabetes) is?
Over the next few months I will take up the challenge of tacking this question – and work with the community here and on social media to help answer this question and more.
How common is it to have more than one chronic disease?
Feel free to share this survey with your friends, family, and your social media followers. Lets get more then just a handful of responses. After you fill out the survey; check out the results right away.
As I write this post, the questions coming flooding in – what about age, ethnicity, are you active or live a sedimentary lifestyle? Is Crohn’s or diabetes more common with some other disease?
Survey Results and Discussion
Question 1 – What chronic disease (s) do you have?
This survey was published on January 23, 2019 and still underway. Check back soon on the results. Feel free to check out the survey question here.
Closing Remarks
I hope this page will become a discussion among our community and if nothing else, help us understand we are not alone in our battles. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section, and pose additional survey questions that you would like explored.
Welcome to my review of the new Abbott FreeStyle Libre continuous glucose monitor. This page will be my personal account of using the Libre to manage my insulin dependent Type 2 diabetes.
The FreeStyle Libre System (Sensor and Reader)
I have officially joined the world of being a cyborg. Part man, part machine, part totally cool! Noting as crazy as Steve Austin and the Million Dollar Man, however its a start. Today, I welcomed FreeStyle Libre into my life (December 2018); which is now available in Canada; to help manage my diabetes. To the words of my nine year old, “Good luck, I hope it doesn’t bother your body” and a big hug for moral support.
What is FreeStyle Libre?
I am positive you have seen the ads on television and social media (that’s why you are here), however let me explain the world of continuous glucose monitoring or CGM.
The Libre is a flash glucose monitoring system that uses a sensor to continuously check your blood sugar levels – the days of routine finger pricks are coming to an end. The sensor is where the magic lies – a convenient, discrete, easy to use, and user friendly device that you wear for up to 14 days to continuously monitor your glucose levels.
Convenient: The small sensor (About the size of a quarter) continuously measures and stores 8 hours of glucose readings day and night. I may finally understand why my morning blood sugar levels are unmanageable.
Discreet: Glucose readings with a painless, one-second scan even through clothing. No more routine finger pricks.
I wear a suit to the office and it works well through the multiple layers of clothing.
Easy: Swim, shower or exercise — the FreeStyle Libre system is designed to be water-resistant and worn while bathing, showering, swimming or exercising. Once it is “installed”, for lack of any other appropriate label, the one time use sensor can be worn for up to 14 days – literally, it will self destruct after 14 days – which it does to the hour. At the end of 14 day mark the sensor stops storing information and time for a new unit.
User-friendly: With every scan you get your current glucose reading, the last 8 hours of glucose data and an arrow showing the direction your glucose is heading. Up to 8 hours of continuous readings — how did the snack without a small insulin pairing send your globose levels out of target? How well does my bedtime insulin injection bring my overnight sugars down? With knowledge, comes power, right?
What is FreeStyle Libre System
The FreeStyle Libre system comes in two parts: the continuously worn sensor, and a reader.
The Sensor:
The 8 hours of data should not be an issue, we scan one before meals; once two hours later, and once before bed. 7 scans a day, or for me, as soon as I wake up – so 8. 8 finger pricks, plus botched attempts – so 10 finger pricks saved a day!
The sensor Is about the size of a quarter, and about two quarters deep. The disposable sensor tracks up to 8 hours of continuous data (so be sure to scan at least once every 8 hours), and a 14 day battery life.
The FreeStyle Libre is slightly larger than a quarter.
The Reader
The Libre Glucose Reader
The cool thing about the Sensor is that it uses the same technology as our debit cards – near field communication (NFC) to speak to the reader. It scan well through multiple layers of clothing.
The Libre has its own glucose monitor that we are all familiar with, or you have the option – and this is even more cool. You can also use the NFC technology built into most modern smartphone devices to simply “tap and go”. Imagine a world where you no longer need to carry around your glucose monitor 24/7?
Note – as of April 2019 we are still waiting for an Android app for the Freestyle Libre here in Canada. However, there are a few unofficial apps that could do the trick for you. As an IOS user I have not tested them myself, so user beware. You can get a list of these Android Apps for the FreeStyle Libre on my Frequently Asked Questions about the Libre System. If anyone has a Android Phone with NFC that I can have, I will be sure to give them a try.
One of the reasons I switched to the Freestyle Libre came down to me having three glucose monitors – one for home, one for the office and one to keep in my laptop bag. Who doesn’t carry their phone around with them? Talk about a win. One device for everywhere.
There is a huge caveat here, that I will touch on later. However, for now — let’s go with 90% of the time, you are finger prick clear and you can leave your traditional monitor tucked away.
Wearing the FreeStyle Libre Sensor
Wearing or better said, “installing” the sensor was generally pretty easy. The Sensor is recommended to be installed on the back of your arm, and came in two pieces – the sensor in a sealed container and the applicator.
Wearing the discrete FreeStyle Libre Senaoe
The packaging looked over kill – however, when you consider this as a piece of equipment that needs to be treated as clean as a surgical room to reduce any chance of infection or irritation we can’t hold Abbott at fault.
The steps to wearing your sensor:
Disinfect and clean your application area (back of your arm) with the include alcohol wipes. Truthfully, I am overly cautious and use a larger alcohol pad. As diabetics, we know slow circles, starting from the inside working out (lets kill those germs).
Open the sensor container and the applicator and assemble — watch out of the little needle sticking out of the sensor. This reminds me of one of those stick fly traps — keep your fingers away as the glue is designed to have the sensor survive two weeks of life, exercise, sleeep, clothes, wrestling with the kids and loved ones. You name it.
Press the applicator to your arm and – a painless POP!
Literally that’s it – the pop is more of a jumpscare then a sting and basically painless compared to any other auto injector – i.e. EVIL HUMIRA for my Crohns, this was nothing.
If you would like to see a short video on how easy it is to wear a FreeStyle Libre, check out the Instagram video from Jessie Inchauspe. Click HERE to view the video.
The sensor is designed to last 14 days.
If you find the adhesive edges of the sensor are starting to life up – no worries. There are tones of 3rd party products out there to help you. Here is a small sample of FreeStyle Libre accesssories from my Amazon Store where I recommend KT Tape, Skin Tac, and other products. I have also created a second post with additional suggestions to help ensure your Libre last the full 14 days.
The FreeStyle Libre Reader
As I mentioned earlier, you can either use the FreeStyle Libre Reader to track and monitor your glucose results or a compatible smartphone and the FreeStyle Libre application.
The reader features a touch screen, colour display, trend line with your target range highlighted, and your typical notes section: insulin injection amounts and other information you would like to track.such as grams of food or units of insulin.
The Log Book / history section of the Reader includes:
Log book
Daily Graph
Average Glucose Reading (similar to your A1C)
Daily Patterns
Time in target (remember you can potentially be tracking 24 hours of data – this is huge)
Low glucose events
My only critism – I am use to readers coming with a carrying case and lancer to test your blood traditionally. This reader did not come with either.
IPHONE and ANDROID APP
I have yet to try the iPhone version of the reader as my iPhone isn’t compatible. If anyone can donate a iPhone XS let me know. However, I will be sure to write more on the APP once I have a chance to give it a try.
Looking on the Website: The FreeStyle LibreLink app is an IOS and Android app (April 2019: we are still waiting for the Android app in Caanda) designed to work with FreeStyle Libre Sensors. The app enables you to monitor your glucose using your iPhone or Android phone with a FreeStyle Libre Sensor — there is no need to use a separate blood glucose meter for routine glucose monitoring. When you scan the sensor with a compatible phone that’s running the FreeStyle LibreLink app, your glucose data is displayed directly on that device.
With the app you can:
View your current glucose reading, a trend arrow, which indicates how your glucose is changing, and the last 8-hours of glucose history
See glucose reports, including your Ambulatory Glucose Profile, which reveal trends and patterns
Add notes to track your food, insulin use, exercise, and other events The FreeStyle LibreLink app is a mobile app designed to work with FreeStyle Libre Sensors.
The FreeStyle LibreLink app is compatible with NFC enabled phones running Android OS 5.0 or higher and with iPhone 7 (I only have an iPhone 6 – anyone want to hook me up) and higher running OS 11 and higher.
UPDATE DEC 2018: I love the iPhone app. The ability to only have one device to scan, track and monitor my glucose readings is a game changed. I always have my iPhone and as such always have my reader.n the app itself is intuitive and more importantly has some great tools – such as a weekly average which shows your 25-75th and 10-90th percentils. How consistent are you readings? The same data is available for 14, 30 and 90 days. It also has an estimated A1C.
The FreeStyle Libre Software
The Freestyle Libre software for Windows PC and MAC is intended for use by individuals and health care professionals to aid in the review, analysis, and evaluation of information such as sensor glucose readings, blood glucose test results, blood ketone test results, and other data uploaded from the FreeStyle Libre flash glucose monitoring system, in support of an effective diabetes health management program.
Using FreeStyle Libre Software, you can gain a deeper understanding of glucose patterns and variability.
The Ambulatory Glucose Profile summarizes glucose data into percentiles11 throughout the day. It’s a snapshot of a typical day revealing hypoglycemia and hyperglycemia trends.
The stoplight chart is designed to help you quickly and easily focus on potential trouble spots12 (red and yellow stoplights)
Screen Capture from the Libre Software
I have the software a look the other night – it has potential. I was able to read my readings off of my Libre Reader and start generating custom reports. It was great to see the 24 hour trend lines of my sugars. It will be interesting to see, if at all, you can pull the data off of the LibreLink.
Do I still need to finger prick
Ok, so the bad news. Yes you will still need to fall back to traditional finger pricks with the FreeStyle Libre system if:
Your glucose reading indicates a low or going low message; or a high message
The trending arrow is rising or falling quickly
Your sensor cannot provide a reading
Your readings do not match how you are feeling
For convenience, the reader has a spot for traditional test strips. However, this is an added cost. One positive though, all your readings are built into one system.
Who knows – one day Abbott could use traditional finger prick test to better calibrate the Sensor.
How accurate is the Libre Sensor?
According to the manual, in some situations Libre Sensors may give readings that are more than 20% higher or lower than blood glucose. You can test the accuracy of the Sensor by using a traditional finger glucose test with the strip meter at the front of the Libre reader or on another blood glucose monitoring system.
You will know the system is performing correctly if your blood glucose is within 20% of the sensors glucose reading. For example, when the sensor reads 10.0 mmol/l, the blood glucose result from your finger test should be between 8.0 and 12.0 mmol/L.
If the sensor readings are not within the 20% range, consult the quick reference guide. Treatment based on inaccurate results can lead to low glucose or high glucose.
After using the reader for almost two weeks, I have noticed significant improvement in the accuracy of the reader. It appears that as your body adjusts to the sensor being installed, the reliability of the readings compared to my traditional finger reader have improved significantly.
One reminder about the sensor, instead of taking glucose readings from your blood, CGM sensor glucose readings are taken from the interstitial fluid (ISF), a thin layer of fluid that surrounds the cells of the tissues below your skin. Blood glucose readings tend to be about 5 to 10 minutes ahead of interstitial glucose readings. In simple terms, if you check you blood glucose – the Libre will catch up in about 10 minutes with similar readings. Typically this isn’t an issue – we take our insulin dose before meals – so generally a steady insulin line. As a precaution the system also has a small arrow which reminds you which way your sugars are going – up; down; steady – we treat accordingly.
* Fingersticks are required for treatment decisions when you see Check Blood Glucose symbol, when symptoms do not match system readings, when you suspect readings may be inaccurate, or when you experience symptoms that may be due to high or low blood glucose.
Questions and Answers about the FreeStyle Libre
I have pulled together some questions and answers about using Abbott’s FreeStyle Libre glucose monitoring system on my Q & A page.
Overall, I have been impressed with the Libre System.
The sensor is small, discrete and comfortable. The official Reader is colourful, has a large display, and all the features you would hope for. I look forward to learning to work with the system to better manage my diabetes and will be writing more again soon.
As traditional finger glucose tests are not only recommended but required for safe glucose management, it is unfortunate that Abbott requires us to buy those as well. I will need to see if my insurance covers both the sensors and strips or have I maxed out at the customary monthly limit.
Overall – the integration with my iPhone has been flawless. It’s great to have glucose readings with a simple tap of my phone to my sleeve. I love being able to visualize how my body responds to particular foods – and how well my insulin dosing is brining me back to my baseline. This is important for both Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes as half of our battle is eating well.
Please share your thoughts and experiences you have had with your Libre adventure in the comments below.
WordPress comes in two flavors: the fully hosted WordPress.com, and the self-hosted version available at WordPress.org. For a long-winded review of the differences see my blog post on Reader or No Reader. One of the key benefits of a WordPress.com hosted (free or paid subscription) blog is Reader which now available to Self Hosted sites through the WordPress toolbar. This post will discuss the new WordPress toolbar and how to enable the toolbar on your self-hosted WordPress site.
The WordPress.com toolbar replaces the default admin bar and offers quick links to the Reader, all your sites, your WordPress.com profile, and notifications. Centralize your WordPress experience with a single global toolbar.
What is Reader?
Reader is best described as the Community Hub for WordPress.com username. Reader is an easy-to-access toolbar that appears at the top of WordPress.com (Hosted) pages when logged into your WordPress.com account with a few shortcuts to some central dashboard pages. It combines all of your blogs, posts and pages under on source no matter where they are hosted. However, where Reader really shines is the equivalent of the WordPress yellow pages – find what people have written or blogged about on any topic that interests you. What better way to generate an audience, socialize, and connect?
The key tabs you will find in the WordPress.com toolbar are as follows:
On the left-had side of your WordPress.com toolbar are My Sites and
My Site (or My Sites) will take you to the Stats page, and main menu for your primary site. From there you can create posts, pages, manage settings, and switch to the same options for your other sites, if you have more than one.
The Reader button takes you to the WordPress.com Reader where you can see the latest posts from any sites that you follow, browse topics (tags), or peruse Discover.
On the right-hand side of your Admin Bar are the New Post, Profile and Notification buttons.
Write simply takes you to the New Post Screen
The Profile link (which shows your Gravatar if you have one) varies depending on whether you are in the dashboard (with the blue bar), or viewing a website (gray Admin Bar). If you are in the dashboard the Profile link will take you straight to the My Profile page, with a menu to other account-related screens. If you have the gray Admin Bar, hovering over the Profile will give you a dropdown menu with all the options on the My Profile dashboard page, including Sign Out, Account Settings, Billing History (receipts) and Security.
Clicking on Notifications will open a dropdown that displays your latest notifications, including recent likes and comments.
How to Enable Reader in a Self Hosted WordPress Site
To enable Reader in your self-hosted WordPress blog follow these steps.
Install the WordPress Jetpack plugin from the Plugins Tab on the Left side of your Admin Screen. Jetpack is a suite of tools designed from the creators of WordPress and described as Jetpack is the ultimate toolkit for WordPress. It gives you everything you need to design, secure, and grow your site in one bundle. All the core features of JetPack are free (secure logins and protection from brute force attacks, Increase your traffic through automotive matic social sharing, related content, and faster load times, and Fully customize your site with free themes, image tools, and rich content.)
Once Installed – Navigate to Jetpack -> Writing ->click on Enable the WordPress.com Toolbar (see picture below)
Enjoy the Features of the Reader Toolbar
How to Enable WordPress Reader Toolbar on Self Hosted Sites.
We talk about invisible illness all the time. Looking at a recent trip to the pharmacy, the pile of medications is not as invisible
Being diagnosed with one chronic disease is not necessarily enough. Here is my story about being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes (T2D) in addition to my Crohn’s disease and how I manage the two chronic diseases.
As Crohn’s suffers; patients; the lucky few (or is it really that few); or however we choose to label ourselves, life has certainly drawn us a short straw. Although I have to admit, the rapid weight loss can be a great way to get back into that fun outfit buried deep in your wardrobe, however, even that is short-lived after a few weeks of Prednisone munchies. The truth of the matter is that as Crohnies we cherish good quality toilet paper and always know where the closest washroom is. We have a chronic disease, Crohn’s for life – isn’t that enough for one person to have to deal with? The trouble is, unfortunately not!
Do you have a chronic disease? Check out our survey on diabetes, IBD, Crohn’s and colitis – go to the survey here or in the sidebar.
Diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes
If you do a quick Google search on “Crohn’s and diabetes (Type 1 or Type 2)” about 1,150,000 results are found. Comparatively, a search for Chicken Gumbo soup stirs up about 257,000. With numbers like these, maybe an association between Type 2 or T2 Diabetes and Crohn’s Disease is not that uncommon after all. For many of you who have read my history please bear with me – I promise I will be brief.
I was first diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in 2005 (age 33). I would not say that my disease ever went into remission but for a while, I did live drug-free – although I am positive my gastroenterologist would have scolded me. Late last fall I started to experience persistent chest pains. Like most guys, stubborn as we are, I kept putting it off. I suppose I am still gun-shy from years of Doctors telling me that my digestive issues were “all in my head”, and to try to get another bizarre diagnosis or feel like I am wasting a doctors time is not my favourite past time. By late November, the pains had increased to a point that on my way home one evening I made a detour to the local emergency department. 12 hours later I was sent home with a “clean bill of health” (albeit with the pains persisting). A few hours later the emergency department called, noting that further review of my blood work showed that my blood sugar levels were elevated (11.9 mmol/L or 215 mg/dl for my U.S. friends) and to follow with my family doctor.
The question that went through my head at the time was simply this, “Was being in the emergency department, enough to get everyone’s heart pumping and adrenaline flowing. No wonder my sugars were high!” Denial, right? Like a good patient, over the next few weeks I met with my family doctor going over the various test results – it was confirmed, “Delayed Fasting Glucose” or “Prediabetes”.
What is prediabetes?
Well the Public Health Agency of Canada describes prediabetes as:
PRE-DIABETES MEANS THAT YOUR BLOOD GLUCOSE LEVELS ARE HIGHER THAN NORMAL, BUT LOWER THAN IF YOU HAVE TYPE 2 DIABETES. PRE-DIABETES IS ALSO CALLED IMPAIRED GLUCOSE TOLERANCE OR IMPAIRED FASTING GLUCOSE.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH PRE-DIABETES, THEN YOU HAVE AN INCREASED RISK FOR DEVELOPING TYPE 2 DIABETES.
Over the coming months, my fasting glucose levels (collected after an 8 to 10 hour fast) were bouncing all around the board – 6.8, 9.1 – enough was enough. It looked like, pre-diabetics education and a few lifestyle changes were in order. Education/knowledge is power after all, right?
I have to commend the South Lake Regional Health Centre on excellent diabetes education, support program and staffing. Although I admit, the cohort in the pre-diabetes class was a little skewed towards the retired and me at 38 just didn’t fit in. Regardless, the day-long course I attended in late January provided an overview of “Diabetes” and more importantly how to not to be one of the 4 out of 10 people in the class whose disease would progress to Type 2 Diabetes.
Exercise, diet, portion size, managed carbohydrate intake was to become my new norm, and fibre became my next best friend. Ok – lets put on the breaks a little – did he just say fibre? Sounds easy enough! However, when we had a little training session in the class on how to your a glucometer, I know I was in trouble – at the end of the training the nurse did a little roll-call on what our blood-sugar levels were – 4.5, 5, 6.5 – I don’t recall anyone being above 7.0 – that was until they came to me – 9.9 (anything under 10.0 two hours after a meal is considered normal). Only thing the diabetes education nurse emphasized in the class was that if through good diet, and exercised, It could take years for someone to progress from prediabetes to diabetes – in my case, the years were more like months as you can see in the chart.
As of March 18th, 2010, I was officially diagnosed with Type-2 Diabetes. Chronic illness number two! WOOT! UGG!
What is Type-2 Diabetes
Diabetes Canada defines Type 2 diabetes as a disease in which your pancreas does not produce enough insulin, or your body does not properly use the insulin it makes. As a result, glucose (sugar) builds up in your blood instead of being used for energy. Your body gets glucose from foods like bread, potatoes, rice, pasta, milk and fruit. To use this glucose, your body needs insulin. Insulin is a hormone that helps your body to control the level of glucose in your blood. High blood glucose levels can cause complications such as blindness, heart disease, kidney problems, nerve damage and erectile dysfunction (did that one get your attention?).
For myself, I like to look at diabetes like an engine. A normal working pancreas is running on all cylinders – much like an engine on gasoline, it burns sugar as fuel. A Type-1 diabetic – well their pancreas is dead and does not burn any sugar, insulin is used as a substitute to manage glucose control. With Type-2 diabetes, look at it as our pancreas is getting lazy. In my case, my pancreas is working at about 30% – or back to my engine analogy running on three of eight cylinders. The engine sounds like crap, however, it will still get us from point A to point B – just don’t count on it do it well or pretty. Overall, I blame my Crohn’s – yes, Type-2 diabetes does run in my family. My mom was diagnosed in her late fifties, her uncle around the same age – however for me, at 38, I was a bit ahead of the curve. At the same time, I have had the fun experience of having pancreatitis (inflexion in the pancreas) on two occasions that probably beat the pulp out of my pancreas. I suppose it could be worse – I could have easily ended up as a Type-1 diabetic.
OCTOBER 2018: The last few months have been interesting and my diabetes has been kicking my butt. Lethargic, my A1C shooting up, rarely a blood sugar reading below 16 (300 mg/dl), and my c=peptide tanking. For the time being (I am being optimistic) a full fast acting regiment of insulin before every meal along with the remainder of my diabetes pills and injections. I will be sure to check in again soon with an update.
Life as a Diabetic with Crohn’s
It is always fun going back and reading some of my older blog posts. It is 2017, seven years after I originally wrote this post. It is incredible how quickly time flies. Today I am an insulin-dependant Type-2 diabetic and a Crohnie and the best part, most people would not know about either. I exercise (run and the gym), I still enjoy ice-cream and milkshakes, and still have terrible glucose days, however, my A1C or HBA1c is typically below 7.
The A1C test is a common blood test used to diagnose type 1 and type 2 diabetes and then to gauge how well you’re managing your diabetes. The A1C test goes by many other names, including glycated hemoglobin, glycosylated hemoglobin, hemoglobin A1C and HbA1c.
The A1C test result reflects your average blood sugar level for the past two to three months. Specifically, the A1C test measures what percentage of your hemoglobin — a protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen — is coated with sugar (glycated). The higher your A1C level, the poorer your blood sugar control and the higher your risk of diabetes complications. Typically an A1C of less then 7 is considered good glucose management.
Food and being a Crohn’s patient has always been a challenge – high finer, low glucose is always best for diabetics. However, high fibre may not necessarily work for Crohn’s patients all of the time. This is particularly important when we are fighting a flareup. Although I spend most of my life balancing my Crohn’s on pillars of Methotrexate and Humira when I have had to fall back to Prednisone my glucose levels have skyrocketed. However, following these basic rules sets great habits no matter how our other chronic disease is behaving and, knock on wood, life for me seems pretty “normal” – I know it is a relative word.
Tips
Reasons
Eat three meals per day at regular times and space meals no more than six hours apart. You may benefit from a healthy snack.
Eating at regular times helps your body control blood glucose (sugar) levels.
Limit sugars and sweets such as sugar, regular pop, desserts, candies, jam and honey.
The more sugar you eat, the higher your blood glucose will be. Artificial sweeteners can be useful.
Limit the amount of high-fat food you eat such as fried foods, chips and pastries.
High-fat foods may cause you to gain weight. A healthy weight helps with blood glucose (sugar) control and is healthier for your heart.
Eat more high-fibre foods such as whole-grain bread and cereals, lentils, dried beans and peas, brown rice, vegetables and fruits.
Foods high in fibre may help you feel full and may lower blood glucose (sugar) and cholesterol levels.
If you are thirsty, drink water.
Drinking regular pop and fruit juice will raise your blood glucose (sugar).
Add physical activity to your life. – No excuses here, I live off of Methotrexate and Humira. I have bad days / weeks like everyone else however, exercise does wonders.
Regular physical activity will improve your blood glucose (sugar) control.
MARCH 2020: Sadly optimism doesn’t win with diabetes, 18 months later I officially consider myself an insulin-dependant Type-2 diabetic. Life could be worse? After all, how many people can stand up and proudly say they have not one but two chronic diseases – LOL
Eat Right Ontario
For those like myself that live in Ontario, Canada – EatRight Ontario (ERO) is a free service that connects residents of Ontario to the trusted advice of a Registered Dietitian to help you make healthier food choices and answer your nutrition questions.
Whether you are a parent, consumer, health professional or community leader, here are the three easy ways to reach a Registered Dietitian. Check out their website at www.eatrightontario.ca or:
Use this website to read healthy eating articles, watch videos, find recipes and explore interactive tools to help you with menu planning and portion sizes and setting goals
Recent Research Study on Crohn’s and Diabetes
Is there an association between Crohn’s Disease. Inflammatory Bowel Disease, and Diabetes? A quick literature and journal review found some interesting results.
Inflammatory Bowel Disease Increases Risk of Type 2 Diabetes in a Nationwide Cohort Study
Recently, two Danish researchers, found that there is a relationship between Irritable Bowel Disease (IBD) and Type-2 Diabetes.
Researchers explored the long-term risk for type 2 diabetes in patients with IBD by performing a nationwide, population-based cohort study in Demark. They analyzed data comprising more than 6 million individuals to compare the risk for diabetes between patients diagnosed with UC (n = 44,915) or CD (n = 20,265) with individuals without IBD between 1977 and 2014. Over the course of 732,072 person-years of follow-up, 3,436 patients with IBD developed type 2 diabetes vs. 2,224 expected cases (standardized incidence ratio [SIR] = 1.54; 95% CI, 1.49–1.6). The risk was increased for both patients with UC and patients with CD, as well as in women and in men.
Although the risk for diabetes was highest in the first year after IBD diagnosis (SIR = 4.48; 95% CI, 1.5–1.65), it remained increased for 20 or more years (SIR = 1.26; 95% CI, 1.16–1.38). Patients who were diagnosed between 2003 and 2014 were at higher risk compared with patients diagnosed in the two other time cohorts; 1977 to 1988 and 1989 through 2002.
“The risk persisted long-term, was not explained by detection bias or corticosteroid exposure and was present in both CD and UC patients,” Jess and colleagues wrote. “The risk was particularly high in patients diagnosed in the new millennium, hence warranting further investigations into the impact of IBD treatments on diabetes risk.
Increased Risk of Diabetes in Inflammatory Bowel Disease Patients: A Nationwide Population-Based Study in Korea
A cohort study out of Inflammatory Bowel Disease Patients in South Korea published similar results to the Danish study.
Newly diagnosed diabetics were identified using International Classification of Disease (ICD-10) codes and the prescription of anti-diabetic medication by the end of the follow-up period (2016) was investigated.
The study found that the during a mean follow-up of 5.1 years, the incidence of diabetes in patients with IBD was significantly higher compared with controls after adjusting for serum glucose levels and steroid use (23.19 vs. 22.02 per 1000 person-years; hazard ratio (HR), 1.135; 95% confidence interval (CI), 1.048–1.228). The risk of diabetes was significantly higher in patients with CD (HR, 1.677; 95% CI, 1.408–1.997), but not in UC (HR, 1.061; 95% CI, 0.973–1.156). The effect of IBD on the development of diabetes was significantly more prominent in younger patients (p < 0.001). Patients with CD are at a higher risk of diabetes. Regular monitoring for diabetes is recommended, even in younger CD patients who do not use steroid medication.
What is your Crohn’s and Diabetes Story – Comment Below?
I know most of the readers of this article came here looking for answers. I wish I had some definite answers for you. For me, my Crohn’s came first, followed by diabetes. What about you?
Notes: Edited September 25, 2017, 2020. Originally published April 1, 2010.
A runners review about the Canadian made, globally used, RaceRunner App for IOS and Android. In 2019, RaceRunner became part of the of the Sport Fintech Group and was rebranded JustMove.
As runners, we all have our reasons why we push ourselves kilometre after kilometre – the inner daemon that drives us towards that next personal best (PB). For most of us, technology has become a critical part of our regime, whether it is heart rate monitor for HR training, our favourite running watch (I love my Garmin 920XT although I admit, I dream about the Fenix 5 – Black Sapphire with Black Band), and apps ranging from Endomondo, MapMyRun, and Strava. Each app in our arsenal serves a purpose, such as great annual statistics with Endomondo, segments and community with Strava, or simply some of the best features without a paid subscription with MapMyRun. A new player in the game takes our drive one step further with Winnipeg, Manitoba (Canada) based RaceRunner.
RaceRunner is a Running App that allows runners from around the world to join and compete in real time races or to join with a buddy to run together – That is right, race in real time, from any where, with anyone! Pretty cool right?
RaceRunner app during a run – Head to Head with voice prompts.
Build by runners for runners, the passionate team at RaceRunner describes their Android and IOS running app as “a whole new app that enables running enthusiastically around the world to race each other on real-time. The new app goes on to make your daily running experience more fun and exciting by adding super features like Buddy Run and Free Run”.
With Hundreds of Running Apps available, Why Create another?
When asked why the RaceRunner team wanted to jump into a market of dozens of running apps, they replied with a question of their own. What do most running Apps do? They just track your run, log the data and provide pretty graphs and tables. Some Apps provide data analytics by giving you some insight into your performance. RaceRunning can make your daily running can be more exciting if you add in some competition. Sometimes it’s fun to run with a friend or race a group of people. These two things can motivate more people run more frequently.
The main feature of the app, Racing is focused on bringing together individuals who like the competitive aspect of running and enabled them to connect with runners around the world and race each other in real-time. In addition to regular races scheduled by RaceRunner, users also have the freedom to create their own group race against friends, colleagues, or anyone across the globe. Using RaceRunner App you can create a race and invite your friends, no matter where they are. Everyone can run in different geographic locations, but at the same time together in a real-time race.
The App is voice-guided, you will hear your position in the race, how far you behind to next person and your time to finish. Your friends can watch the live race from their phone and send you cheer messages.
My First Impressions
Heading for Gold on my 5K race.
I have not logged a lot of kilometres with the app however after a few runs (5 runs, total of 20 km) I have a good sense of what is in store for this newest player in the running app world. I became aware of the app earlier this spring through a social media post and quickly jumped into the queue for the Race Runner Public Beta Registration. Racer number 0535 my registration email proclaimed.
The app has been a refreshing change and to simply hitting start on my Garmin and going for a run. The voice prompts for typical pace and distance combined with information such as how far ahead or behind the closet runners is a nice motivational pick me up to push myself a bit harder.
Races can be either Live Races or and Offline Race.
Live Races are scheduled to start at the same time no matter where you are across the globe. Once you log into the app, you get a count down and the race is off for the scheduled distance.
Offline Races allow you to run your race at your leisure between the allowed dates (August 14th and August 19 for example). The winner is determined at the end of the time period based on all completed runners.
My first live race had me running at 8:00 PM local time and included runners from central Canada (Winnipeg) and California. The voice prompts were useful and informed me of my time, pace and more importantly what position I was in and how far behind or ahead of the closest runners. One gold medal for me to add to my statistics.
Community and Rewards
Finding someone to run with, even virtually, is a strong positive for the RaceRunner application. Follow their run statistics, give them kudos on the news feed. One of the newest community features just implemented this week allows runners to take a photo while you run and share on the RaceRunner feed and social media.
HINT: Connect to my RaceRunner account with Promo Code Dl3244.
Rewards is another cool feature in the RaceRunning app. Each run you do or race your host will contribute to your point score. More points are awarded for Races and Buddy Runs than free runs and even higher points for real-time races.
You can redeem points any time before the expiry date by selecting from the rewards available (currently a new pair of shoes for 7,000 points).
Running Statistics
My RaceRunner profile.
Statistics are available for total runs, total kilometres, and total for the month. Histograms of pace by distance (3K, 5k, 10k, 21K, 42K) and all runs is also available along with calories burnt, and world ranking (I am currently 56th – I ROCK!).
Where the App Could Improve?
We can’t race all of the time – an app that motivates us to run at race pace daily should motivate us to train as well. For example, rather then the winner going to the fastest time during the race, something as simple as the percentage of your run maintaining a pre-set pace such as your LSD pace could be used to determine the winner. For example, my LSD pace is 6:30 per km. Over my total run, was I on pace 50%, 75%, 95%. Closest to 100% wins.
Lack of API Connectivity / Partnerships – tracking our runs and distance is critical to many of us. If nothing else, it lets us know when we should start putting our pennies aside for a new pair of shoes. I am not sure what your mobile phone is like, however for those runners that rely on their smartphones for capturing their latest run, having more than one GPS enabled app running at a time will put a serious dent in our battery longevity. Having the ability to upload to Strava or similar at the end of the run would be great.
Not all Routes are the Same – It doesn’t matter how fast your average pace is, add more than a few hills to your route and you will be hard fetched to make up the time, even on the downhills. However, RaceRunner considers all races equal. By capturing elevation change during the race would allow time bonus’s to be assigned to your race time to help establish the race winner in 1) Time, and 2) Time – a bonus for technical aspects of the race.
Age (all are created equal) – We know sanctioned races have age categories for a reason. As much as I would like, the chances of me being able to beat an equally as fit 20-year-old in my mid 40’s is a challenge at best. Consideration of age in world standings or race results could take the application to the next level.
My Next Run
How can it already be August – where has the summer gone? At the same time, I am sure we are all welcoming that sweet spot in temperatures that we find throughout our fall runs. To end off the month (and the summer), the RaceRunner team has scheduled a quick 3 KM run for 7 PM local time. So far 4 runners in the mix. A great excuse to throw on my runners after dinner and hit the flats in front of my house for an out and back. A tough crowd in the mix – Ivan from Los Angeles has the best pace of 05:52. Let’s see how well I can contend?
Technical issue – sat out the race.
I had a bit of a technical issue with the App jumping into tonight’s 3K race as it would not let me join a 7 o’clock race at 6:58 (2 minutes to spare) so I had to sit this race out. As expected, Ivan had a great run. My next RaceRunner race / run I will be sure to post a few more pictures.
The RaceRunner app is only a few months old, version 1.0.5 and counting. With a fresh approach to running apps, I look forward to its evolution. Although it can’t replace some of the great features I enjoy in Strava, I would argue that is not the goal of RaceRunner. Looking for someone to run with, or need that push on your solo runs to push your pace a bit faster then you can do alone, give the RaceRunner app a try.
Download the App Now
The RaceRunner application is available for Android and IOS. When you download the app and create your account remember to enter Promo Code DI3244 to earn reward points.
As a runner, I have witnessed the benefits of a pure cardio routine; after all who has time for family aka young children, career, regular long slow distance (LSD) training runs, and making it to the gym. I have also experienced it’s downfall through injuries related to not cross training adequately and muscle inbalance which is only magnified from my sedimentary office job that pays the bills.
MyFitnessPal published a great article with the help of California-based personal trainer Mike Donavanik, CSCS on the misconceptions of cardio routines and loosing weight.
After you read these few words, you may want to make room for some cross training opportunities.
4 Reasons Why Your Cardio Addiction Won’t Help You Lose Weight
CARDIO IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN STRENGTH TRAINING FOR FAT LOSS
Minute-per-minute, you might burn more calories on the elliptical than you will in the weight room, but those calories will come from carbs, fat and protein — the building blocks for muscle.As you finish your cardio workout, the calorie burn stops. Not so with strength training. After a strength session, your body has to work not only to repair and grow your muscles, but also to return your body’s levels of enzymes and other chemicals back to normal. That process increases your caloric burn, even at rest, for up to 72 hours after you leave the gym.
RUNNING AND SPINNING DOUBLE AS LOWER-BODY STRENGTH WORKOUTS
Even though running and spinning work your muscles, they target your slow-twitch muscle fibers, which are in charge of your muscular endurance. Strength training, however, hones in on your fast-twitch, power-generating muscle fibers, especially if you’re lifting heavy weights for only a handful of reps per set.
That means resistance-heavy cardio won’t eliminate the need for targeted lower-body strength workouts. In addition, performing strength workouts will help prevent muscle imbalances and injury, he says. You need both strength and endurance for optimal performance and health.
YOU NEED TO WORK OUT IN THE “FAT-BURNING ZONE”
Even though you’ll burn a greater proportion of your calories from fat exercising at lower intensities, you’ll also burn fewer calories overall — and that includes calories from fat, he explains. Opt for high-intensity interval training (HIIT) if you want to burn more calories and fat during your cardio workouts.
YOU CAN COUNT ON CARDIO MACHINES’ CALORIE DISPLAYS
In one University of California, San Francisco experiment conducted for “Good Morning America,” elliptical machines overestimated peoples’ calorie expenditures by up to 42%! Treadmills overestimated by 13%, stair climbers by 12%, and stationary bikes by 7%.Luckily, research published in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise suggests that fitness trackers come a lot closer.
As you click through a few links after Google search there are a variety of philosophies out there. Heck, I even found several links that swore you could loose 1.5 lbs a day by doing nothing other then taking a little blue pill. Built Lean published another great article, that speaks to some of the misconceptions around the debate.
For all of us, the proof is in the pudding. However, more importantly, we make the best use of the time we have available. After all, I always joke, a quick run, brisk walk or thirty minutes to an hour at the gym is still more then what most people accomplish.
How many of you are Pack Rats? Why not join me in a 30-day declutter challenge and take control of your pack-rat demons by using 8 decluttering rules. I know, you are all about to say, no, not me, but seriously, lets sit back and be honest with ourselves. Wait, I have an idea, lets do a little test. From where you are sitting, STOP reading! Now look around, and no, not just a casual glance left or right but a complete 360 degree turn. Now, what do you see, or better yet, what don’t you see. Now pause – zoom in on that drawer, yes, that drawer – you know the one I am referring to. See, case in point.
Hidden Clutter – We all have it.
The reason I am asking is that for some odd reason, I started to clear out my desk this morning, its small (too small, barely holds my monitor), and the top shelf of my hutch was piled three layers high. USB cables, extra storage drives for the computer, books: hiking computer programming, website design, survey methodologies. Seriously, a mishmash of items, and needed some TLC. Like all good cleans, my desk snowballed into my ancient rubber-maids full of computer and electronic odds and ends. My day was planned — organize, sort, reacquaint with what is hidden away and hopefully purge.
Starting at Ground Zero
A more organized blogger than myself would have look at the mornings plans with purpose — lets document, document, document — make it a story, take some photographs, add some reality. It was not until the end that I realized, hey, I should write something today and fell to Daily Post for some inspiration. Then again, why worry about what I accomplished today, as, I look around the room, there is plenty other clutter to take photos of. The remainder of the office clutter (not yet tackled), and lets not talk about the rows of book cases, do we really need four copies of the same book borrowed from work?
Here are two photos of the office – on the left, our success – on the right, still more clutter in the room. Rubber-maids and book shelves full of work resources, a moving box full of quick birthday presents and odd gifts, a few bags of children’s books, endless. What is even funnier is that when I say look in a drawer, hidden atop my organized desk is such a nook — a box, full of 9 hard drives from various old computers ranging in sizes up to 2 terabytes. It is hard to throw away what works …. wait, I have yet to look in the garage or the basement.
Some Decluttering Success
Still a bit more clutter
So why do we keep what we do not use? How can we remind ourselves to purge, to throw away, freecycle? I think for most of us it is a combination of a few things:
For starters, there is always the hope that we will finally find a use for item X. But lets be honest, how many of the three TV stands buried in the garage will ever be used?
There is sentimental value — a baby rocking chair, an old hockey jersey – how where do you draw the line? For me, my golden rules is one box of memorabilia.
Lets have a garage sale — now seriously? For starers — who wants to be up at the crack of dawn? Will you really make any money? Haggling — uggg! Setting up — double ugg. And at the end of everything, you still will have “stuff” that will need to go somewhere (See #4)
It is simply too much work — sorting, organizing, disposing of. Purging takes time and dedication — it is easy to clean, but what do we do with the excess? My last round of purging children’s items resulted in 6 garbage bags of donation clothing. Now where to take it, will it fit in the car, isn’t it easier just to ignore the piles? This past weekends adventures — one large garbage bag and a box full of recyclable electronics. Again — now what do I do?
We Need Decluttering Help
Where do I turn to — well for fun, I did a quick google search. My first hit — 31 Days to Declutter Your House which sets out 8 decluttering rules as follows :
One year rule – If you haven’t worn it/used it/looked at it in a year, get it out of your house.
Broken beyond repair – It’s broken, it’s busted, it’s a goner. Get it gone.
Not even yours – This is the worst type of clutter – you don’t even own it! Give it back to the person who does.
Guilt – Life gets busy, and you shouldn’t put more pressure on yourself by feeling responsible for things. They are just things, and don’t get you any closer to your goals.
‘Just in case’ – Think about your items you keep for this reason. Have any of those events come up when you actually needed them? Maybe, but it doesn’t matter right now.
Publications – Magazines and newspapers are old; the information contained in them is likely outdated. All of this information is easily found on the web. This goes for books also.
Done – There are items we are just done with, but haven’t gotten around to getting rid of them. Now is that time. Done.
Simply the best – Only put back into your closets and cupboards the best of what you own or things that you simply cannot part with.
Keeping these rules in mind will help you really make the most of your purge. Are you ready to start getting organized by letting go? The author, Karen, also offers a detailed book for $10 which I may need to give a read. Karen, if you are reading this, say hi!
Around the Internet
In addition to the eight rules I referenced above, continuing to search through Google, I found many websites with handfuls of hits and tips ranging from Pinterest which hosts 1116 pins on hits and tips to Declutter and Purge (Checkout the Pinterest topic here), to articles on Oprah.com on Clutter Control, tips on the “Quickest Way to Purge & Clean a House & Get Rid of Clutter” (view link here). However, no matter what strategy or website you seek for guidance, they all seem to have the same basic steps:
Sort things into “keep” “give” and “trash” piles.
Put away what you keep.
Haul the rest away.
The 30 Day Challenge
So who is up for the challenge? With summer coming to an end, and fall just around the corner, over the next thirty days I propose we all take a declutter challenge – put those rainy days to good use. Share your thoughts – send me links to your photos, lets all jump into the new year with a little less chaos in our drawers, hidden under our bed, at the back of the closet and in our garages and basements.
Separation and divorce, and particularly when it blind sides, feels very much link being trapped on a run-away train. Despite feeling out of control, it is interesting how even on a runaway train, you can realize it may have very well taken you to a really cool place in life. Don’t get me wrong — a ride on a runaway anything is scary as hell but then again so are most things in life and particularly those along very unfamiliar paths. What can we learn about ourselves as be negative through separation and divorce? Who is that person that emerges from the other side? In this post, I explore these questions and more in Dating Life 101.
The Reality that We are Heading for a Divorce
For the past few years life has felt out of my control — trapped in a dark room, feeling and fumbling along a wall, tripping over life here and there and not really knowing how I arrived in this maze, and even worse, not having any idea where the exit may be. You grow up expecting life has this typical pattern, school, more school, even more school, work, and hopefully if the cards fall into place, a home, family, a fish, a dog, you know the story.
We all hear the statistics, forty-one per cent of Canadian marriages end in divorce, notes a recent study from the Vanier Institute of the Family (1), however we all tell ourselves that we will beat the odds, we will do better than our parents, our aunts or uncles. We will be that old couple holding hands and laughing well into retirement. For many of us, me included, we didn’t even come close. However, looking back, was that necessarily a terrible thing?
As a species, we have had mind-blowing success at evolving and mastering our universe no matter how you define it. We can survive in the harshest of climates, from the depths of the oceans to a race across our solar system and beyond. We adapt to change, to conflict, we grow, we mature. So how much different is being thrown into single hood? Is it simply another hurdle in life we need to conquer, learn from and move on.
When we emerge from a depths of conflict, hopefully we can step back and look at ourselves objectively and recognize that relationships are always a two-way street. Although “we” may not have been what put the final nail in the metaphorical coffin our past lives, in most cases I think we had an equal part to play in our relationships getting to that point. Where did we make a wrong turn, where did we forget to compromise in our past relationship over sacrificing ourselves or our partners needs. Over the past few years I have tried to reflect on these questions, the big proverbial “What the fuck happened in my life?” Do I have all the answers, now what would be the fun in that, however in that time of reflection I have come to realize two principles that I will call emotional resiliency and emotional confidence that will become pillars as I move forward with life’s next adventure.
Emotional Resiliency
I admit, like most, my past life became routine at best, work, kids, sanity break where me and my partner literally forgot the other existed. Honestly, when was the last time you and your partner sat down and just chatted over coffee for hours at end? If one was not battle kids to bed, or cleaning it was the other. You fall into that parental trap and forget about the most important characteristics in yourself and with that, your partner. Truth be told, we spend 95% of our lives worrying about stuff that really does not matter at all. Imagine worrying day in and day out about breathing or your heart beating. Seems ridiculous, doesn’t it? Us breathing or our heart pumping, is essential and will happen not matter what else is going on.
The truth is that many of the aspects in life we spend our time stressing about are as essential as breathing and will happen no matter what else is going on around us. The kids will be fed, or bathed, and always loved. You will eat, and even the messiest of us will make time. No matter what else is going on, those basic necessities in life will happen no matter what, so why worry about them. Yet, we are consumed by these little things in life. We need to stand back and realize the power of worrying about ourselves and with that our partners.
There is a great children’s story book called “Have you filled a bucket today?” The general idea is that “the bucket” represents your mental and emotional self. When your bucket is full, you feel more confident, secure, calm, patient, and friendly. Your thoughts are positive and you expect positive results. When your bucket is overflowing, you experience an intense happiness that can spread to those around you.
We fill our buckets in many ways, from our work, our community, where we volunteer. It is incredible when you see someone’s passion shine so brightly that even when they talk about a bad day, they radiate happiness, how incredible and overwhelming of a feeling we experience when your child snuggles up to you, or the tingle from the tips of your toes to your fingertips when someone special simply looks at you and smiles. No matter how we fill our buckets our emotional resiliency grows stronger and with that us as stronger individuals. You can tolerate the day-to-day ups and down, the stresses of life are that much easier to handle and we become much more resilient, and with that more patient, better parents, partners and friends.
Emotional Confidence
Relationships are incredible high and even more so as a way to supercharge our buckets. Just think back and remember that incredible awe that you felt from something as simple as a kiss, a touch or a hug. Don’t get me wrong, relationships come in countless shapes and sizes and no one definition fits us all. However no matter if you are looking at your best friend, a confidant, a coffee buddy to waste away the hours, or an incredibly amazing person to share the other side of your bed, you need the emotional confidence to realize that in a “relationship” you should not be the one doing all the bending and that emotional compromise is two-way street. The truth is that Tom Cruise’s famous line in “Jerry MaGuire” of “You complete me” has it all wrong. Never look for someone to COMPLETE or supplementary to you but rather the confidence to look for someone who is complimentary to you.
Compromise is critical to any successful partnership – it is based on a fine balance of two people – their wants, desires, needs. The reality is that not having the emotional confidence to voice your emotional needs by sacrificing what you want and need in life and out of a relationship; ultimately settling for anything less will not make you happy – in fact it will become a hurdle over time. What is even more important is that a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals, who are growing and changing with each breath, experience and desire, and much like the two people in the relationship, a relationship must evolve with those people, and build on each others strengths and support their weaknesses. Just stand back and try to remember yourself when you met your significant other and how much both of you have changed since that time. Are you still as active, what about friends, or weekend adventures? How do you spend your time, alone or as a couple? When you dated, what was it like, what did you do, what did you talk about? How is life different now? It is a given, we change, life changes, and so does our load of responsibilities. However, it does not mean it is the end. As a complementary couple, you will mould to this change and to each other. Don’t get me wrong, this takes work and time, and ultimately the commitment however, will only make us stronger. After all, relationships are both rewarding and require work, painful at times yet, fulfilling beyond imagination.
The Next Steps
So where did this runaway train take me? Well, to that I can honestly say I do not know. However, that is not necessarily a bad thing. I know I am not the same person I was when I was pushed onto the train a few years ago. Am I perfect, well, truthfully, who is? Do I like the person I have become, absolutely. Am I strong, and confident, and can hold my own in most awkward adult situations – well ok, I am getting there, however, know for sure that I will stand up for me, no matter the consequence nor I do not think there will be a personality that will overshadow me when push come to shove. After all, a resilient Mark is a powerful force. I have an amazing and incredibly supportive group of friends who will put me in my place, and pick me up when I stumble, the confidence to hold up my end of a coffee / conversation marathon (the record is about 5 hours with a near stranger, are you up for attempting a PB), and know I can kiss a girl and makes her knees buckle, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. As I noted, life is evolving as am I. We make mistakes, and we growth from them, we make decisions and live with the consequences, we kiss and we cry, yet with each breath, chisel away with a new version of us. Some come on train — lets see what you have in store for me as this is only the beginning.
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